The Pathos of Distance

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The Pathos of Distance

- Agile Minds in Perpetuum -


    Frank Vincent Zappa... The Maestro

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    Zoot Allures

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    Frank Vincent Zappa... The Maestro

    Post by Zoot Allures on Sun Feb 18, 2018 3:09 pm

    an all-around great american guy walks into a bar and spots a girl. he slides over to her, sits down, and asks, 'honey, don't you want a man like me?'

    Zoot Allures

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    Re: Frank Vincent Zappa... The Maestro

    Post by Zoot Allures on Sun Feb 18, 2018 3:12 pm

    “The creation and destruction of harmonic and 'statistical' tensions is essential to the maintenance of compositional drama. Any composition (or improvisation) which remains consonant and 'regular' throughout is, for me, equivalent to watching a movie with only 'good guys' in it, or eating cottage cheese.” ― Frank Zappa.

    Zoot Allures

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    Re: Frank Vincent Zappa... The Maestro

    Post by Zoot Allures on Mon Feb 19, 2018 8:51 am

    Frank's daughter, Moon Unit (my true love), is interviewed by Howard Stern. Frank, who is suffering terminal prostate cancer, calls the studio and talks to them. Howard and Moon create some wonderfully entertaining antagonistic chemistry between them...

    go to 6:27


    Zoot Allures

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    Re: Frank Vincent Zappa... The Maestro

    Post by Zoot Allures on Mon Feb 19, 2018 1:56 pm

    the room was silent except for the ticking of an old clock on the badly papered wall, and the faint sound of a spanish TV coming up through the floor. roland looked one last time in the mirror, fine tuning his sepia toned tie and his smile. his hair was lightly cropped and slicked back.

    roland was a business man, and Marcino always said a member of the family had to look good to do business.

    he glanced over at the picture above the little curio cabinet in the corner as he checked the cylinder of his 38. snub-nose. it was a picture of his father... the kind with the eyes that follow you around the room.

    he took a shot of bourbon with an unsteady hand, and set the shot-glass down with a loud thunk.

    an impatient horn from the street below called through the window. roland holstered the 38., picked up the briefcase and walked toward the door. the hardwood floor creaked and protested under his feet. the building was old, on the bad side of town, but roland knew he was destined for better things. his father once told him the event of success was only for those who had the guts to make it happen... and today was roland's big event...

    Zoot Allures

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    Re: Frank Vincent Zappa... The Maestro

    Post by Zoot Allures on Tue Feb 20, 2018 7:59 am

    allison poured herself a cup of coffee and stood by the drink machine as the other employees filed down the hallway toward the elevators. she needed the overtime, and she was making some major progress in her research. it's become something of an obsession for her; why weren't the catalysts necessary for intercellular disintegration?

    she sipped her coffee and stared at the bulletin board, thinking. on the board was pinned the roster for the developmental micro-organism and germ research program. beside it the list of protocols. allison saw her name at the bottom of the roster and sighed. "one day i'll be at the top of that list," she thought to herself as she crushed the paper coffee cup in a fist, tossed it into the basket, and set off down the hall toward the laboratory.

    she put her lab coat on, sat down at her microscope and pressed play on the CD player, song number 6... Natural Science. it was Permanent Waves, her favorite album by Rush.

    carefully placing the slide under the scope, she adjusted the focus and peered into the eyepiece. the sample of the tl-7 bacteria was still stable. "its morphology is so stange," she whispered to herself. "why does it possess characteristics of myxobacteria, but is incapable of quorum sensing?"

    she took her eyes away, got up, and walked across the lab to the refrigerator where the agar stab cultures were stored. the sterile tl-7 was kept in a modfied dimethylsulfoxide solution. she looked at her watch and said to herself "this has got to be it. it has to work this time. three hours is long enough."

    she sat back down and drew the solution into the dropper, then positioned it over the slide. drawing the sample into closer focus, she administered the solution. at once the tl-7 moved... its cellular walls changed to a dull greyish color. she paused and watched. "it's responding," she said in a quiet voice. "it's actually responding."

    within thirty seconds the tl-7 broke down, disintegrating into a tiny mass of amino acids. the dropper fell from her hand as she raised her head from the microscope. "my god... it worked," she said with wide eyed disbelief. "these aren't real... i've done it! i've finally proved it. the internal hemorrhaging can't be caused by this. these are imaginary diseases!"

    Zoot Allures

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    Re: Frank Vincent Zappa... The Maestro

    Post by Zoot Allures on Tue Feb 20, 2018 4:51 pm

    the crowd of peasants parted uneasily as the figure approached. Edward remembered the image so vividly; the man rode on what looked like a donkey or a mule. he was a short, plump man with a balding head, squeezed into a leather tunic that was caped in a purple cloak. "nothing will be the same after this day," he recalled thinking to himself when he saw the mysterious man approach. he took a big draught of his honey mead and settled back in his chair.

    "there's news of the house of telleren, Edward," Dorin spoke, wiping one of the oak tables that filled the pub. "they say a trade agreement has been reached with lord Gerros. large plum shipments are being readied to transport to Wendalyn as we speak."

    Edward leaned forward and put his elbows on the table. "yes, it is great news, my friend. the people are going to be healthy and happy again."

    Dorin chuckled to himself and added "who would of thought such a thing could bring the peasants to near revolt! i've known food shortages before, myself, but never something like this."

    "You know what they say, Dorin," Edward replied through the side of his mouth as he pulled on his pipe. "when you gotta go, you gotta go."

    Dorin bellowed a deep guttural laugh and tossed his towel onto the bar. He walked over to the fire to stoke it a bit. "Yeah, but constipation?," he said, looking at Edward over his shoulder. There was a brief silence between them. Then again he burst out with laughter, Edward joining him.

    "How could anyone have known," he sighed, after catching his breath. "That was all it took... the promise of a crop of plum trees... and the people were satisfied again. All the king needed was some seeds."

    He puffed on his pipe contentedly and continued his reverie. "that funny, fat little man with a bag of seed... we had no idea he would save the kingdom. one always expects a hero to be noble and majestic, but he was no such thing."

    "It goes to show you, Edward. fate is a mysterious thing."

    Edward nodded. "indeed, Dorin... indeed." He gazed over at the crackling fire, remembering that special day. "saved by such an unlikely hero, the  duke of prunes...."

    Zoot Allures

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    Re: Frank Vincent Zappa... The Maestro

    Post by Zoot Allures on Tue Feb 20, 2018 7:06 pm

    he drove through the night in the shiney new 38 ford deluxe. the chicago streets were damp from the rain. steam seemed to rise from the asphalt, or maybe it was the fog... Mickey didn't know. the wipers labored back and forth lazily as he hummed a tune. "that Marcino is gonna have to make a decision," he mused to himself, lighting a filterless lucky strike. the street lights cast broken shadows through the car windows as he passed down the empty street. the night was lonely and unsure, like Mickey.

    he took a left at the abandoned warehouse, like the directions said, and pulled into the lot beside the bistro. after putting the car in park, he turned it off and looked up at the window on the third floor. the light was on. Mickey took a deep breath, put on his his seude fedora, and got out of the car. the rain had become a light mist, and he watched a couple coming out of the bistro as he stamped his cigarette out in the gravel. side entrance... Andrew will let you in. he folded the paper and put it into his trench coat pocket.

    he could hear them talking through the door as he approached. the lobby decor was rich with hardwood paneling and dark, red velvet. he knocked on the door like he was told, and a brief moment later, it opened.

    "hello Mickey. you found the place okay?"

    "no problem, Mr. Marcino."

    "Mickey, this is my associate, Mr. Harrison. Mr. Harrison, this is our new friend, Mickey."

    Mickey reached out his hand and met the firm grasp of the man. a serious, interrogating handshake that made Mickey a little nervous, but he held his grip.  

    "have a seat then, Mickey. Angela, bring Mickey a scotch. How do you like em, Mickey?"

    "neat, Mr. Marcino. thank you."

    Angela brought the scotch to Mickey. she was a buxom girl, mid twenties, with auburn hair and soft hazel eyes. Mickey nodded his thanks, took a drink, and set the glass on the table beside the chair.

    "now then. i understand that the family wants to negotiate. is that true, Mickey?"

    "yes sir, Mr. Marcino. there's been some trouble on the north side of town with some of the bookies. the family isn't happy with the profits, and wants a bigger cut."

    Marcino looked at Mickey, and folded his hands behind his head. "you do realize that we've taken great pains to arrange the fights, don't you Mickey? We're taking a big risk by doing this, and many of the fighters don't wanna play. We're having to raise their cuts to get their cooperation. the family's got some nerve to make demands like that."

    Mr. Harrison moved slowly from the door and sat down in the chair beside Mickey. He picked up a newspaper and began casually flipping through the pages.

    "i understand, Mr. Marcino, but the family feels the present terms aren't going to work."

    Mickey sat motionless in his chair, his piercing eyes fixed on Marcino. He moved his hand to his lap, and rested it beside his inside coat pocket. Marcino glanced over at Mr. Harrison, who was watching Mickey from the corner of his eye, then back to Mickey. a quiet tension filled the room.

    Mickey took another draw from his scotch, not breaking his eye contact with Marcino. His sharp features showed a man with intelligence and cunning. Mickey wasn't the kind of guy who was easily persuaded.

    "i think we might be able to come to an agreement, Mickey. we don't want any trouble, and i'm sure the family doesn't either."

    "i think that's a wise decision, Mr. Marcino."

    Mickey stood up and approached the desk. Marcino moved nervously in his chair, then relaxed.

    "mind if i have one, Mr. Marcino," he asked with a shrewd smile as he took out his gold zippo, hands moving with expert precision and grace. he stood over Marcino, his lean, muscular frame announcing itself.

    "of course Mickey, help yourself."

    Mickey's hand moved to the corner of the desk, and opened the box of twenty small cigars.

    Zoot Allures

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    Re: Frank Vincent Zappa... The Maestro

    Post by Zoot Allures on Tue Feb 20, 2018 9:49 pm

    "what is she like, father? tell us, oh please tell us", begged little Elizabeth, as they stood at the entrance of the great ballroom watching the commotion. the sky was a deep blue without a cloud, and a cacophony of merriment filled the air, groups of people talking and laughing joyously.  

    "now Elizabeth, it wouldn't be a surprise if i told, would it?," father insisted.

    the busy servants hustled about carrying table and chairs. Elizabeth's little brother stood silently at father's side munching on a peppermint stick, hardly aware of all the activity.

    "but you and mother know. it's just not fair!" she pouted.

    father scooped Elizabeth up into his arms and held her. she stared at him with demanding expectation. he paused as if to think.

    "hmm...let me see."

    suddenly he sneered and assaulted her with tickles. "she's a mean old woman with warts and big black eyes... and she likes to eat little girls!"

    Elizabeth pitched into a fit, giggling with delight as she squirmed in father's arms. "she IS NOT! mother says she's the most beautiful woman in the world!"

    "well what does that make you, then?," father asked, as he hoisted Elizabeth onto his shoulders to give her a better view.

    "i'm going to be beautiful like the queen!", she declared, putting her hands on father's head to steady herself.

    suddenly the trumpets sounded as a cavalry escort rounded the hill. the people cheered and waved their hands. a group of brilliant white horses harnessed in studded black leather moved in perfect formation. the gallant knights flying the king's flag and coat of arms. they wore flawless silver armor made of the finest plate mail, their jeweled scabbards glinting in the bright sunlight.

    as the escort approached, the crowd grew silent. only a few whispers could be heard over the deadening quiet. a servant walked briskly from the hall and rolled a red carpet out as the coach slowed to a stop in front of the great ballroom.

    "move to the left, father, i can't see, i can't see!," demanded Elizabeth. "look Manfred, it's the queen!," she informed her brother.

    Manfred paid no attention, and continued working on his peppermint stick with great determination. his lips and tongue had turned completely green.

    "hear ye, hear ye!," came an announcment to the crowd. "her majesty the queen has arrived!"

    the coach door opened as the crowd shifted noisily to get a better view. the queen gracefully stepped down from the coach as a kneeling servant took her hand, and then proceeded down the carpet in full peaches en regalia.

    Zoot Allures

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    Re: Frank Vincent Zappa... The Maestro

    Post by Zoot Allures on Wed Feb 21, 2018 8:08 am

    the dark wizard peered into his crystal ball one last time, then knocked the lamp off his table, cursing aloud. he began pacing back and forth, mumbling to himself under his breath.

    "Malrion! send three more regiments immediately, and you better bring me good news when you return."

    "my lord, the men are trying as best they can, but the field cannot be breached. I swear it, my lord!"

    Malrion lowered his eyes as the dark wizard shot him a disapproving glance. he waited in silence for the angry wizard's reply.

    the dark wizard stroked his long beard as he studied a page in the leather bound book of spells... his pale finger tracing the words as he read.

    "i don't understand why it isn't working. the power graft is fully charged, it should not be able to shield itself from my spell. Malrion! you are certain the surrounding countryside has been effected?"

    Malrion raised his eyes and answered with an unsteady voice, "of course my lord, the fields no longer bear grain, and the trees have lost their leaves."

    the dark wizard stood in front of his spell table and picked up a strange, mishapen blue crystal, turning it in his hands and examining it with his cold, grey eyes.

    "the men shall stand at the ready beside the river. when i have succeeded in breaking the barrier, i shall send word. prepare the men at once!"

    "as you wish, my lord," and Malrion walked quickly from the room.

    in the coming days the dark wizard worked day and night to perfect the spell. finally certain that his task was complete, he sent the raven to inform the regiments. when the raven arrived, he sat down eagarly before his crystal ball and brought the men into view.

    the men formed in ranks, then at the sound of the battle horn, they charged. the dark wizard drew closer to his crystal ball and watched.

    "this is it! the soldiers have to break through!"

    then, as if by some force field, the first wave smashed into an invisable barrier, preventing them from moving forward. they stood there in confusion and disarray.

    "blast!," shouted the dark wizard, kicking over the table and wringing his hands in frustration. he had failed again.

    the land of Lindindale was an enchanted place, and though the dark wizard's evil magic had taken control of most of the region, there was one place in which his powers had no effect.

    a golden valley between two great mountains, filled with lush, green vegetation and home to many animals. this wondrous land was protected by strange magical creatures... the toads of the short forest.

    Zoot Allures

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    Re: Frank Vincent Zappa... The Maestro

    Post by Zoot Allures on Wed Feb 21, 2018 8:07 pm

    probably the best interview available on the net. part 1 of 7.


    Zoot Allures

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    Re: Frank Vincent Zappa... The Maestro

    Post by Zoot Allures on Wed Feb 21, 2018 8:17 pm

    ^^^ Frank explains how he was offered five dollars by his mother as his fifteenth birthday present, and he declined, asking instead to be given permission to call Edgard Varèse.

    she agreed. he didn't know where he would be, but thought that there would be only one place a man with a mind that unique, could live; greewich village.

    sure enough... that's where he lived.

    how cool is that?

    he wasn't home though....

    Zoot Allures

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    Re: Frank Vincent Zappa... The Maestro

    Post by Zoot Allures on Thu Feb 22, 2018 9:52 am

    his eyes were sunken into his head like two black holes, his pale skin spotted with new sores and tiny, visable veins. he hadn't slept for days. the nightmares wouldn't let him.

    he stood before the mirror in the dirty bathroom, staring at himself through blurry, blood shot eyes. the trembles were getting worse now.

    Larry turned on the faucet. it spit out brownish water for a moment, then ran clean. he steadied himself with one hand on the sink, and with the other, splashed water on his face. he found a used paper towel among the empty beer cans, ashtrays and old syringes scattered on the vanity, and dried himself.

    as he made his way to the kitchen, a cockroach skittered across the floor in front of him. he no longer bothered... they were everywhere now. the warped baseboard that lined the floor was rotting, and the plaster walls were cracked and discolored. he sat down at the kitchen table and picked up his cell phone.

    still no calls.

    Larry scratched his arm, being careful not to break the scabs that had formed on the inside of his elbow. the scar tissue had grown tougher, making it more difficult to get a vein. he had begun shooting on the inside of his leg five days ago.

    he counted the bills and the change with a trembling hand. $20. it was enough for one bag.

    Larry tore a corner from a piece of paper. it was his electric bill, but he knew he wouldn't pay it. folding the edges he made a rolling paper, then took a few butts from the ashtray and emptied the remaining tobacco over the paper. he rolled it into a loose cigarette, and lit it with a match.

    it had been eleven hours since his last shot, and the withdrawals were beginning again. sickness slowly creeping over him, making him nauseous and cold. he huddled at the table, smoking the cigarette, his eyes set on the phone. he was rocking back and forth again, he noticed, but he couldn't control it anymore.

    a screen door slammed next door as the voice of a shouting man rose above the silence. they were fighting again, and Larry's head pounded and throbbed. he rubbed his eyes with his dirty fingers, and wiped his nose. his nose was running uncontrollably.

    finally the phone rang. he almost knocked it off the table as he grabbed it up.

    "yeah, is this Dwayne?"

    "i told you to stop calling me past two, man. you need to get everything you're going to get, at once. i'm not driving out there two or three times a night anymore."

    "i'm sorry Dwayne... i.. i didn't have the money. i got $20 now. do you think you could come by?"

    "$20 dollars is all you got?! get your shit right man, then call me back."

    Dwayne hung up.

    Larry sat there, the sound of the dial tone echoing in his ear. he dropped the phone to the floor and hunched over, clutching his stomach. the room was spinning around him now like some sinister fun house. he closed his eyes and began to cry. seconds later the heaving started, coming between his desperate sobs. finally he fell out of his chair.

    Larry hit the kitchen floor in a contorted shape and began writhing in pain. "oh god, oh god," he cried, as he tried to right himself. it was no use. he didn't have the strength.

    as he lay there in a pool of his own vomit, he saw the pistol on the counter. he crawled across the floor, managing to gather strength enough to reach it. Larry fumbled for the gun, pulled his knees up to his body and sat against the cabinet. the pistol was heavy in his hands.

    "ahh...uuuhaaa... oh jesus.. oh please." he convulsed again, drew forward, and yellow stomach acid spewed from his mouth all over his hands and pistol. the putrid smell enveloped him as the tears rolled down his face.

    "oh Larry... what happened," he whispered to himself as he sniffled, his thin, emaciated body rocking back and forth. "i can't do this... i can't take this any longer."

    he heaved again, but his stomach was empty. the pain shot through him like a bolt.

    Larry raised the pistol with his hands and stared at it. a memory of his youth passed through his mind, then faded to black. he glanced one last time at the cell phone on the floor. no calls. he sighed deeply, raised the gun to his forehead and pulled the trigger.

    it was the only way to put an end to his filthy habits.

    Zoot Allures

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    Re: Frank Vincent Zappa... The Maestro

    Post by Zoot Allures on Thu Feb 22, 2018 10:42 am

    ^^^ Frank does some really good guitar work in this one. he blends backward guitar tracks and feedback, creating several layers. you can hear the sustained notes, panning and over-lapping (move over, Hendrix).

    go to 1:28... and 4:00 (5:25; this is what Larry was hearing in his mind as he writhed in agony).

    Zoot Allures

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    Re: Frank Vincent Zappa... The Maestro

    Post by Zoot Allures on Thu Feb 22, 2018 2:14 pm

    the light from the full moon came through the old castle windows and covered the dark tile floor with an errie glow. marble statues of ghouls and grotesque demon figures stood at each corner of the room, old cobwebs stretched across their twisted shapes and forms. a candlebra set on a table under a huge stained glass window centered on the west wall. the flames flickered and danced. in the middle of the hall was a long, oaken table... a roasted pig on a platter sat in the middle, surrounded by various dishes of fine cuisine and bottles of red wine.

    Ferdinand von Struasen stood at the top of the staircase, looking down over the banister, and raised his hands in a gesture of welcome.

    "greetings my lovely friends! how wonderful that you could come. this night is young yet, and the moon is full. let us enjoy this feast together and celebrate our brotherhood," announced the old vampire as he started down the spiral staircase. he was dressed in a black suit with red vest, his cloak taking ominous shape around him as he descended.

    his guests sat down at the table, Ferdinand at the head. the wine was poured and a toast was made. "to our eternal lives!" they drank from the silver wine goblets, and the feasting ensued. conversations began and filled the cold, dank room with tales of their adventures and exploits.

    after a satisfying meal, the vampires and werewolves got up and gathered in the ballroom. the band of demons were assembling their instruments and preparing to play.

    Ferdinand entered with his mistress, Valonia, and the guests became silent, forming a circle around them. Valonia gazed around the room at the guests, her pale blue eyes brightened as they caught the moon beams that came through the window. her presence was captivating, holding everyone spellbound by her beauty, as if they were hypnotized.

    "tonight we shall dance, my lovely ones!", she declared, removing her silk shawl. the vampires and werewolves gasped in lustful awe at her perfectly formed physique and soft, pale flesh. she ran her long fingers over her body as she stared invitingly at the evil cast that surrounded her.  

    "doesn't she look delicious?", Ferdinand said with a deviant grin, and then cued the band with the snap of his finger. the demons started playing as the guests took up their partners and the orgy began.

    they danced into the night to the transylvania boogie.


    Last edited by Zoot Allures on Thu Feb 22, 2018 2:34 pm; edited 3 times in total

    Zoot Allures

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    Re: Frank Vincent Zappa... The Maestro

    Post by Zoot Allures on Thu Feb 22, 2018 2:19 pm

    i know, i know. werewolves don't roll with vampires ordinarily, but this time they made a truce.

    also, the song starts out right, but changes in a way that doesn't fit the scene. you'll have to excuse that. this one was difficult to do.

    Zoot Allures

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    Re: Frank Vincent Zappa... The Maestro

    Post by Zoot Allures on Thu Feb 22, 2018 8:22 pm

    Ensemble Modern performs:


    Zoot Allures

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    Re: Frank Vincent Zappa... The Maestro

    Post by Zoot Allures on Fri Feb 23, 2018 1:16 pm

    and then something strange happened. the Tink robots were at their usual stations on the assembly line and nothing out of ordinary was happening. Donald was doing his normal rounds checking and monitoring all the systems, and Kristen was working in the control station above the production floor. just a typical day at the factory.

    then over by the coolant system installation line, we saw the strangest thing. one of the robots just left its station. just walked right off and left the building through the fire exit. no shit. it wasn't until security noticed and activated the emergency shutdown, that the robot was apprehended.

    later we reviewed the video footage from the security cameras over station F, where the coolant units were installed. you won't believe what we saw. at 2:47 the robot dropped the crimping tool that was used to connect the side panel to the frame. after he picked it up, he realized the unit he was working on had passed down the line... and instead of backing the line up so he could complete the unit, he just threw his hands into the air as if to say 'aw fuck it, i quit', and then walked right off.

    Davis looked over at Donald and Kristen as they sat in the break room eating lunch. "can you believe that?"

    Kristen was putting creamcheese on a bagel, and replied casually "probably an operational glitch... i wouldn't worry about it."

    "but his behavior seemed so human-like, man," he said, sipping on a diet coke and looking thoughtfully at the aluminum can.

    Donald switched on the TV as the three of them continued eating their lunch without further thought.

    the Tink model 304 was never used on the line again. it ended up being disassembled and used for replacement parts. the factory management never spoke about the strange event, but Davis would never forget it.

    April 22, 2174... the day that Tink walks amok.

    Zoot Allures

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    Re: Frank Vincent Zappa... The Maestro

    Post by Zoot Allures on Sat Feb 24, 2018 3:16 pm

    "look at that line!," Rhonda shouted over the Bee Gees' 'jive talkin' that blasted from the chevy convertable's speakers. "what a drag!," she said, standing up in the backseat to get a better view. the chevy slowly cruised down the blvd and past studio 54... Tony was looking for a place to park.

    "hey, don't worry about it... i know the bouncer," assured Barry confidently as he adjusted his polyester shirt, unbottoning the top two buttons.

    "sure barry, sure you do," retorted Tony. "the last time you said that, we stood in line for an hour at the flamingo club." he pulled from his Salem menthol one-hundred and passed it to Jenny who was siting beside him, primping her hair in the mirror.

    "hey Rhonda, cut out a few lines for us before we go in, yeah?," said Tony as he looked over at Jenny beside him. he was groovin' to the music... his head bopping back and forth.  

    a buick laid on the horn as the chevy swerved a little into the other lane.

    Barry shrieked. "jesus Tony, watch where yuh goin', will yuh!? Yer gonna get us all killed!"

    Tony ignored Barry's concern and squeezed Jenny's thigh as she applied eyeliner. "cut it out Tony... yuh gonna make me mess up muh face," Jenny protested, pushing Tony's hand away. Rhonda was in the back cutting lines out on a KC and the Sunshine Band album jacket now, with her credit card.

    "Man this is gonna be great... I can't wait to try out my new moves on the floor,' declared Barry shifting in his seat and simulating one of his dance moves. he bumped Rhonda's elbow. she dropped the straw and looked up.

    "godammit Barry!" "aw shit, Rhonda, I'm sorry." Jenny peered over the front seat at Rhonda, who now had coke smudged all over her nose. she burst out laughing, then blew an enormous bubble with her chewing gum. "christ Barry, watch what yuh doin'!"

    "hey Rhonda, pass that up here already... we're almost there," Tony ordered as he pulled into a parking lot and starting looking for a spot. a colorful crowd of club patrons were walking toward the street. a black midget dressed in a polyester suit with an afro the size of a basketball moved past the car. "hey man is that a 68?" "sure is," replied Tony, turning down the radio. 'stayin' alive' was now playing. "man that's far out!"

    the midget shot Tony a thumbs up, spun around on one heel, and continued walking.

    the car was parked and Barry jumped out of the back seat. "wooo hooo!," he shouted and gave Tony five. Jenny was finishing up her line and passed the coke to Tony. "Come on you guys, let's go!," shouted Barry enthusiastically. Rhonda had cleaned the coke off her nose and was now straightening her skirt as she stepped out of the car.

    they started walking toward studio 54, Tony with his arm around Jenny. "hey Rhonda... yuh gonna dance with me," asked Barry as they rounded the corner. again he was practicing his moves... shuffling from side to side. "yeah right, Barry," replied Rhonda sarcastically. "yuh the worst dancer i ever seen."

    Tony and Jenny starting laughing as Rhonda rolled her eyes.

    Barry was a guy who loved to have fun, and tonight was his night. he'd always dreamed of being a famous dancer and had practiced every night for months. studio 54 was the place to be. "you guys keep laughing... I don't care... you'll see. you're just jealous yuh can't dance like me!"

    as it turned out, Barry did know the bouncer, and they got to the front of the line. they were admitted through the door, found a table, and ordered drinks. fifteen minutes later they were ready to go... Barry leading the way. the crowd parted as he cut his way to the floor... the disco ball beckoning him like a light from god.

    Barry went straight to the middle of the floor, leaped into the air, landed in a full split, and ripped the crotch of his pants. the crowd gasped and cheered in amazement, clapping their hands to the rhythm of 'disco fever' that blared over the dance floor.

    Barry paid no attention to the minor inconvenience of his now ripped pants, jumped back up, and immediately began doing the hustle... everyone following his lead. he owned the floor, there was no doubt about it. Barry was a dancin' fool.

    Zoot Allures

    Posts : 525
    Join date : 2018-02-07
    Age : 500

    Re: Frank Vincent Zappa... The Maestro

    Post by Zoot Allures on Sat Feb 24, 2018 7:47 pm

    clear skies lay overhead the san fernando valley as Andrea drove down the freeway in the little convertable volkswagen rabbit. she was on her way to the galleria, and the traffic was jammed because of rush hour. "oh my god... like why is there all this traffic," she complained as she tugged on a giant, orange hoop earring. she had driven this way almost everyday for the last five years, and still she acted surprised at the traffic jams.

    Andrea sat in the middle of traffic in the 1984 rabbit and propped an elbow on the window, waiting for the traffic to start moving again. the summer heat was almost unbearable. "gawd!" she scowled impatiently, and hit the steering wheel with her right hand. "like what is the deal!"

    across two lanes a truck beeped its horn and Andrea looked over. "hey baby, where'ya going," shouted the quarterback of the highschool football team, Todd, leaning out of the truck window. his two buddies in the cab were drinking beer and laughing obnoxiously. "wanna get together, Andrea? we could catch a movie."

    "pfft, yeah right, Todd. I don't date jocks," she answered arrogantly, twisting a lock of her hair in her fingers. she rolled her eyes and turned the radio volume up to drown out Todd and his friends.

    "oh come on, Andrea, you know you want me!" Todd laughed as Derrick punched him in the arm and threw an empty beer can out the window. "yeah Andrea, quit being such a bitch!," shouted Derrick across Todd. they all fell into laughter and horseplay again. "oh my god you are so gross, Todd! like, gag me with a smurf... no way."

    finally the traffic started moving and Andrea hit the gas, lurching forward. Todd beeped the horn as she sped off. "he's such a total loser," Andrea assured herself as she watched the truck fade in the rear view mirror.

    "oh my god this song is so bitchin'!' Duran Duran was on the radio now, and she tapped her fingers on the wheel as she drove on, singing horribly out of key.

    she pulled into the galleria parking lot and walked into the mall. after buying a milkshake from the pretzel stand she continued toward the clothing store across from the arcade.

    two hours later she emerged from the store with five bags she could barely carry. she staggered through the mall to the exit, opened the door, and pushed herself and the five bags through with an audible "umph!"

    "oh my god, like why are these doors so small," she complained indignantly. "i'm so sure!"

    she gathered herself and stumbled clumsily into the parking lot... but before she managed to take three steps, she stepped on a big glob of melted bubble gum. Andrea looked down at her high-heel, exhaled loudly, and dropped her bags in frustration. "grody to the max!," she sighed aloud.

    she finally plopped down on the curb, removed her high-heel, stood up, picked up her bags, and began trying to hop across the parking lot to her car, in a mini skirt. it was the most ridiculous thing you've ever seen, but it made perfect sense... because Andrea was a valley girl.

    (valley girl played by Moon Unit Zappa)

    Zoot Allures

    Posts : 525
    Join date : 2018-02-07
    Age : 500

    Re: Frank Vincent Zappa... The Maestro

    Post by Zoot Allures on Mon Feb 26, 2018 1:18 pm


    Zoot Allures

    Posts : 525
    Join date : 2018-02-07
    Age : 500

    Re: Frank Vincent Zappa... The Maestro

    Post by Zoot Allures on Mon Mar 05, 2018 10:30 pm

    Out in cucamonga
    Many years ago
    Near a holy roller church
    There was once a place
    Where me and a couple of friends
    Began practicing for the time
    We might go on tv...


    Zoot Allures

    Posts : 525
    Join date : 2018-02-07
    Age : 500

    Re: Frank Vincent Zappa... The Maestro

    Post by Zoot Allures on Wed Mar 07, 2018 9:24 pm

    http://ilovephilosophy.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=193890&p=2695619#p2695619

    frank and i would like to make this dedication and contribution to the thread....

    Zoot Allures

    Posts : 525
    Join date : 2018-02-07
    Age : 500

    Re: Frank Vincent Zappa... The Maestro

    Post by Zoot Allures on Thu Mar 08, 2018 8:44 pm

    I wrapped a newspaper 'round my head
    So I looked like I was deep
    I said some mumbo-jumbo, then
    I told him he was going to sleep
    I robbed his rings and pocketwatch
    And everything else I found
    I had that sucker hypnotized
    He couldn't even make a sound
    I proceeded to tell him his future, then
    As long as he was hanging around
    I said the price of meat has just gone up
    And your old lady has just gone down

    Look here brother
    Who you jiving with that cosmik debris?

    Zoot Allures

    Posts : 525
    Join date : 2018-02-07
    Age : 500

    Re: Frank Vincent Zappa... The Maestro

    Post by Zoot Allures on Sat Mar 10, 2018 3:10 pm

    "i remember my father working in various defense related industries... and uh, i wanted to help. i used to be an artist when i was a kid, and draw little pictures of things. one day i came up with a really good idea... that if you took a missile... and instead of having one bomb in the warhead, had ten, it would be a much better way to blow things up. so, around five or six years old i designed an MX missile and gave the picture to my father. but i guess he didn't know the right guy to give it to... otherwise we would have had this beast a lot sooner." - F. Zappa

    Zoot Allures

    Posts : 525
    Join date : 2018-02-07
    Age : 500

    Re: Frank Vincent Zappa... The Maestro

    Post by Zoot Allures on Sun Mar 11, 2018 5:51 pm

    a shout out to Number 6, at ILP.



    another live version with slower tempo and slight variation:


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    Re: Frank Vincent Zappa... The Maestro

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