Parelipomena

Art/fArt...and cRAP
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0AZ2mbyFPNZ

https://vocaroo.com/i/s1iGrigXB0Si

To be educated by what is not of your own kind...

https://vocaroo.com/i/s1igKJSZ6O8U

https://vocaroo.com/i/s0rnXPHWkwJh

Paradise = Utopia
From religion to secular forms of nihilism.

https://vocaroo.com/i/s0tEER5z2M6R

Birth of a Nation

https://vocaroo.com/i/s1QTcWjTs720

Greedy Vainglory
https://vocaroo.com/i/s1P1zv2io5oZ

Liar's Ruse...
https://vocaroo.com/i/s1DisI0tzMOR

Three levels of communication
https://vocaroo.com/i/s1yDciyTAPBB

I love the twilight, and the fleeting time before the dawn, hovering, there, nowhere, like a moment that never comes and never goes; like a passing touch, playing upon your skin a song, that never ends, because it has never begun; like death waiting, breathtaking, in erotic anticipation, to take you on.
I hold my self.
Suspended, still, listening for a climactic chime, that never comes, and by never coming, never ends.

If I could, I would, live in the northern lands where the sun never rises, and never declines.
Simply waiting there, on the horizon, blood red and tumescent with excited melancholy, like slightly parted lips, breathing in, and out, ready for the coming kiss that never comes, and by never coming never leaves.
Not strange for a Mediterranean, by birth, to have such tastes for the meditating, mid states, separating the mundane from the sublime.

I've always lived here, even beneath the brightest suns, hoping clouds will come to save me, and take me back to my comfortable dusk, where shadows bring out the subtlety of shapes, and their secreted delights.
My home has always been in the in-between, the fracturing lines of space and time, where daylight comes to meet the night, and where in concealing all is revealing, the darkness in the light.

What has befallen to make me so sullen, I cannot avert from mine eye.
To be so parched and uncaring 'bout the taunts of the craven, finding their admiration just as dry.
I sought, for a moment, relief in the rare and revealing, but found it to be just as well.
As any amusement, and terror inducement, I settled upon every life that I fell.
Farewell, childhood dreams, I finally found a way out.
No longer bemused, or so easily seduced, I have found a new game for my toys, my easy joys; new pleasures in my old suffering annoys.

I remember a stray cat I once befriended in Greece.
I fed her, because she looked so thin.

To my surprise, she came scratching at my bedroom door, daily, eventually ripping the screen.

She became so trusting that I could pick her up by the head, and she would go limp, like a kitten when the mother carries them.

When I left for the army, I was gone for a year, before my first long leave.
I returned, not finding her.
I thought she had died.
That afternoon I took my father's vespa down to the town - he was in Canada at the time.
I returned, later, and saw the cat running to the house. She had recognized the sound of the Vespa, which is distinct.
Nobody had one in the neighbourhood.
She was emaciated, but as affectionate as before.
I realized she had given birth to kittens, and had hid them somewhere in the cactus bushes.
I fed her well, and before I left I placed food at the door.
Never saw that cat again.
But I still recall her trusting purity, her affections.

Nothing like the first sip of hot coffee, early on a fall morning.

Small pleasures, not to be made more than what they are - twinkles of a distant star.
Let the dark grow thicker, for me to see it dance - light skirting earthly gases from afar.
A messenger delivering a master's power.
How I long to acquire
A ship, with giant sails, and a hard rudder.
Perhaps to Troy
To do battle for another king's love
Perhaps elsewhere
Away from Ithaca shores

Distance makes the heart grow fonder
Closeness makes it grow cold
Caverns to be crossed
only by the bold

Those who can tolerate an ocean
of isolation
resisting the pull of friendly shores
or the warm water of the abyss
that persists

Never had problems sleeping, unless something was troubling me.
I've heard other complaining of sleep issues, insomnia, falling asleep after hours of tossing, and I can only empathize remembering my own, few times, of troubled sleeplessness.

Never underestimate the value of a good night's rest, or a cat nap at noon.
At my age, I don't.

There was one memorable night's sleep, when I was but a boy.
My parents had left me behind, in Greece, at my aunts house, and had departed for Canada.
I joined them 6 months later.
I was 8.

My aunt's house was in a mountain village, called Geraki (Hawk).

One night it was so hot she asked if I wanted to sleep on the roof.
Her kids, my cousins, much younger on the veranda.
I said, yes.
She laid down some blankets, sheets and a pillow.
I remember the night was so clear, up there, that the Milky Way was the brightest I had ever seen
The roof so high that there was nothing in my peripheral vision. No trees, no buildings, no town lights.
Nothing but stars surrounding me.
It felt like I was floating in space.
Roof cement fell away, as Hypnos came slowly to claim me floating in the heavens.


Sweetest night I ever experienced.

In all my wanderings, past and present, not once did I hear a bird sing and think it was singing for me.
Not once did I think I had solved a riddle, or that I was someone's one and only.
Not once have I considered myself indispensable, a leader, a guru, a teacher.

I simply show, and ask
"Do you not see?"

I guess I've never been so vain, though I am egotistical as can be.
The opposite, in fact.
Whenever I'm flattered I feel embarrassment, speculating on the motives.
When I am shown appreciation, I blush.
Imitation is the highest form of flattery - actions speaking louder than words.
Mind can lie, but not the body.
Body judges, on the sands of time it draws its appreciations - salivating, moistening, hardening, dilating, contracting, with a mind of its own - a reptilian automatism, the cortex must justify.


Empathy.
Can't watch a shameful act performed shamelessly without cringing, feeling ashamed for the one who feels it not - embarrassed on his behalf.