The POD Chess Club

So I believe there's three ways to get a match going. Either the app sets you up with someone at your level, you choose someone specifically, or you get a random opponent. I hadn't known this at first, so I get matched up with this dude named Kurt. Kurt has glasses, a neck beard, 100 wins and 8 loses. Wtf man, I can't play this dude. I resigned before the game even started. See I'm trying to get my wins up first so it won't look so bad when I accrue some losses. You can't do this with Kurt man. He's a monster.

Then I'm playing this other dude and during the game, I tried to socialize and made a few pertinent comments to the dude. You know, chess chat: "damn my nigga, I shoulda never let those pawns pass" or "You shoulda pushed that a1 pawn up to prevent the ruy lopez" or "I knew you were going to fianchetto that bishop, dude... you ain't slick". Then he blocks my comments. Can you believe that? I told phoneutria and she said chess people are a "type". I'll say... gotta be a smug asshole and not talk to the person you're playing. We didn't do that in prison unless there was money on the game.

I've been waxing pho to get my wins up, but only because she hasn't played much. She's the kind of person who'll get really good really fast, though. I gotta beat her while I still can, you know? Meanwhile we discuss the game while we play, and I try to show her shit... but then she's like "dude stop being so soft... take the frickin piece... I made the mistake so I should suffer for it", and then I'm like "but I'm trying to make you better by pointing out things and setting you up for good plays". Then she tries to be slick and just lets me give instruction to appease me.

But see that's how you get good. Of course, the master could ruthlessly beat the student if he wanted, and the student would learn from each beating. But he/she would learn more, and faster, if given the opportunity for a "do over" when a bad move is made, and by being informed in advance of an upcoming move so to be able to prepare for it.

This increases the student's awareness of the board activity. Without this, the game proceeds in a linear fashion and the student doesn't get to witness the alternatives in any given situation.

"Now look... you could put me in check and then take my rook with the knight's fork, BUT you have to consider that your knight might get trapped in that corner. Look closely at the board and determine if you can get out of that corner, first, then decide."

And the matter is even more complex. Of course, trading a knight for a rook is ordinarily a reasonable exchange... but given the circumstances... your queen is in an excellent position provided that she has the knight to work with. You would get that rook, but lose your knight, jeopardizing the strength of your queen who would then have nobody to work with while all up in my shit like that. You can't get your bishops out because you've blocked them in (dummy), so your queen needs that knight. Don't take the rook unless you are certain you can get out of that corner after you take it.

Moral: chasing pieces is not always better than holding a position.

Now suppose this isn't explained to the student before the fork is made. The student plays the fork, gets the rook, and then gets stuck in that corner. Here, he/she doesn't get to see in advance the alternative to this play in real time. Indeed, he/she "learns the hard way", sure, but wouldn't they also acquire that same learning without making the play if it was explained in advance? Absolutely. One doesn't always have to experience a lesson TO LEARN that lesson, see.

So you guys need to get the app and join the POD chess club. In this club we will examine and discuss the logic of the game. I will convey to you what the great masters conveyed to me. You like to play the pawns alot? Not anymore. You're wasting time clogging up the board with unnecessary traffic. You wanna develop your minor pieces asap so you can get your rooks out on the files during the middle term. Until then, focus on controlling the the center of the d and e file, and don't bother with any premature checks. You're wasting moves with that shit, and it doesn't impress anyone. Masters don't do that. They play a clean game and move as few pawns as needed. And don't cross the mason dixon line with your knights in the beginning term of the game. Only amateurs do that. They end up getting harassed and pushed back with pawns... and you've wasted moves with that nonsense. Come at me with that bullshit and I'll get that fucker trapped. You wanna gain control of those center squares and support those pieces. Once established there, combo opportunities will spontaneously materialize on their own. In other words, don't plan on trying to take any pieces until the fifth or sixth move. And you don't always want to capture a challenging pawn in the first few moves. Maybe you want to pass him to get that position. A defended passed pawn becomes very dangerous in the middle term game. A pawn sitting comfortably on the fifth rank (if your white) will prove to be a major pain in the ass for black later on. Fuck that challenging pawn on the c file. Pass his ass, but keep him protected. That pawn could very well be promoted in the end term.

It's not always smart to castle immediately, either. If you castle before my pieces are developed, I'll know which side to attack on and bring them out accordingly. Castle on the king side, I'm comin' for you on that side. Instead, clear the first rank and prepare to castle when needed. If I'm comin' on the king side, castle on the queen side and get me fucked up. Now I gotta waste moves to get reoriented on the board.

And don't come out with your knights on the a and h file. I hate that. It makes little sense. The knights attacking power is cut in half when on those files. Keep knights toward the center unless you NEED to get onto those files to maneuver somewhere.

Critical advice for beginners: in the opening, learn the importance of moving the d and e pawns before anything else. Don't fuckin' start opening with peripheral pawns like you know something about the French defense or Sicilian dragon. You don't. You're gonna fuck around and lose control of the center that way. Master the king and queen's gambit FIRST. The most important pawns are the d and e pawns, for two reasons. Center control, and efficiency of development. You move them to open your queen and bishop up asap. You gotta get those minor pieces out, man, or you lose momentum. The only advantage of opening with the b and g pawn is to fianchetto your bishops... but why would you do that when they have nothing to defend or attack yet? Open with those pawns and chances are your opponent will get the center before you. You're not going to get those d and e pawns with your bishop because he'll have them protected, so forget about it. Get your d and e pawns our there and put protection on them with your knights and bishops. Everything follows from there and develops naturally. Engagement will begin there.

And don't rush down with your queen. That's amateur. Trying to slide into the b, f and g tile on the 6th rank (if your white) as soon as his bishops are gone, is some lame shit. You're trying to steal that rook, and that's rude. The queen isn't to be used as a "pest"... she's the most noble of pieces and she is to be played with diligence and grace. Her entrance must be grand... her movement clever and always sexy. She's not some thug you send out to chase pieces.


https://www.zynga.com/games/chess-friends

Get it, and post your username so Phony Fischer and i can find you.

*taps fingers on desk, yawns, and looks at watch*

Look ya'll, I'm not that good. Don't be intimidated. I have an excellent understanding of the logic of the game, but I'm an intermediate player. Probably has something to do with hitting a crack rock the size of a golfball when I was 30. Think I blew a gasket. Haven't been right since. Same reason why I've become a positivist; I can't do philosophy anymore so I save face by dismissing it as nonsense.

Four effective puns you can use when playing a hottie (girl or guy):

"I'd pawn the board and mate you all knight long"

"I like to pin down the queen when I'm trying to mate"

"Besides, I like how you penetrate the middle board"

"Yeah I haven't touched hardwood.... chess pieces in a long time"

the danish gambit. intentionally sacrificing pawns for two reasons; inviting your opponent to use his moves to take pawns rather than develop his minor pieces. and see the result? black uses his moves to take two free pawns, but in doing so, stalls his own development and opens white's minor pieces up immediately. the danish gambit is a baiting technique, and black fell for it.

cochrane gambit seems unproductive to me. white doesn't gain any noticable advantage by sacrificing his knight just to force the black king to move. only immediate payoff to this is that now black king can't castle. other than that, don't see much use in it.

scotch game opening is reasonable. two advantages. you use your move to develop another minor piece rather than take that pawn, and, you can use that pawn to your advantage by letting it stay on the file (until you're forced to take it). similar to the danish gambit, this one passes up opportunities to take pawns and gain a strong center position in exchange for developing minor pieces very quickly.

the muzio gambit variation of the king's gambit. white gives up his knight because he's rushing to develop minor pieces. seems counter intuitive, but position is ofetn more important than your number of pieces. first sign of a skilled player; seems to just give up pieces. no... he does this on purpose. he's getting the jump on you.

the halloween gambit. what is it's purpose? the knight is sacrificed to get black's knight to a square that will be threatened by white's next move. black then has to use his turn to move his knight out of danger (wasted move), allowing white to dominate the e and d file with his pawns. very clever opening. white's control of the center now justifies sacrificing the knight. the halloween gambit forces black into wasting moves to save his knights while white continues pushing pawns up d, e and f file. brilliant, and it only costs white one knight.

latvian gambit seems superflous. don't see much advantage in giving up one of those pawns in the first two moves.

fried liver opening. fairly conventional, but black's response (knight to f6) is a mistake. black needs to prevent white from getting his knight to g5. see why? white's next move will be a knight's fork, supported by that bishop. black now loses his rook.

(moved)

at 10:08 fischer takes the pawn with his knight. a sacrifice that will soon make sense... you'll see. at 11:06, he chooses to take the bishop rather than the rook... another strange choice... but is it? see what he's doing? at 15:40 his opponent resigns because he sees it coming.

white's fatal mistake was taking d4 pawn with knight at 14:19. black should have moved knight to e4, white would then follow with bishop to b7, then white king to f2, then black takes knight with bishop to e4. now white king moves to e1. the only way he was going to stop the mate. but by taking that d4 pawn with the knight, white moved the piece that his king needed to hide behind in order to buy time to get off the left side of the board. this would have worked, but slowly. as you see, black's e file rook, white square bishop, and queen would inevitably trap the white king in the left corner.



also note that if white didn't take that d file pawn with his knight (the fatal mistake), that pawn would have worked in white's favor by blocking up the d file. white should have wanted that d file pawn to stay on the board as it would have worked to get in the way of black's assault. now there are many things that could have happened had white not taken that d file pawn... and i'm not saying white would have prevented an eventual mate. white would have prevented that particular mate... the one he saw coming which caused him to resign. and there was certainly a possibility that white turn the game in his favor had he finally got his king out of the left corner.