Love OntoLogy thread.

mr. ollie. i ask you to delete all my posts. you do, but then hours later you restore them all. i also ask you to delete my account... you do... then tell me in an email that you've invited 'guide' here (as i requsted days ago), but then don't restore my account. why would you invite him here after my account is deleted? finally, you lock all the forums from posters except this one. are you mildly retarded, or just high on mushrooms again?

check out ol' eddie. i love this guy. i could totally do time with this dude.

@ 52:42 eddie meets herbie. herbie's terrified of the giant at first.. but with a little love, some peanuts, and a bit of behavioral modification via operant conditioning (59:52), they come to be good friends...

https://vocaroo.com/i/s0hrrD9OL4lq

Jordan "scatterbrain" Peterson

a guest wrote:mr. ollie. i ask you to delete all my posts. you do, but then hours later you restore them all. i also ask you to delete my account... you do... then tell me in an email that you've invited 'guide' here (as i requsted days ago), but then don't restore my account. why would you invite him here after my account is deleted? finally, you lock all the forums from posters except this one. are you mildly retarded, or just high on mushrooms again?

I never deleted your posts, I just hid them in invisible fora. Then I learned that was overly paranoid (I was indeed on shrooms when I read your PM). As for your account, I didn't delete it, I just deactivated it. Then I told you I'd invited 'guide' here, but I didn't mean I'd only just done so; I did so right after I read your request all those days ago. Finally, as for locked fora, I thought I'd unlocked them all; I'll check, it may be an oversight.

EDIT: It said all fora are unlocked--except for my "Thus Quoth" one, which was indeed an oversight.

Yeah but I WANT my posts and my accounts deleted. I'M ASKING YOU to delete my posts and my account. So what's the problem? Why am I still here?

https://pilotonline.com/news/local/crime/article_20c78b08-7642-11e8-bd6c-c36b95f9d9cd.html

well look at that. i'd forgotten all about joseph "cyanide" merlino until just now. was googling all the fellas from cell block H at the va beach jail, and came across this. he swore to the end he didn't do it, but that's what you're supposed to do; you don't dare tell anybody in the block because an inmate will snitch on you in a second to get his own sentence reduced. the prisoner's dilemma only works in game theory, not in the joint. but i knew he did it, and he knew i knew he did it... but it went unspoken about.. as if he was silently acknowledging that he knew i knew, and that he trusted that i wouldn't judge him. how could i? i wouldn't ever have enough information about his world to form an opinion about whether i approved or not of what he did. it was funny to me how he would go about playing at the charade of being innocent... showing me photos of the images captured by the security camera: "see that bald spot? do i have a bald spot? no. see? that's somebody else, etc." i'd just smile and nod my way through it.

we played chess everyday, and he was probably the best player in the block besides yours truly. he also spoke three languages fluently... leter he was busted for sending coded messages to his chinese girlfriend. had a thing for asians.

he used to argue with me about the supremacy of krav maga and show me all these fancy moves while sparring in the day room. joseph, buddy, in a real fight there's gonna be no time for that shit. this isn't hollywood. you try that silly shit on one of these niggers in here and you'll get knocked the fuck out. back and forth we went: yeah but i'd do this if you did that, then if you did this, i'd do this, etc., etc. okay joseph, go try to snatch tre-4's eyeball out and see if he doesn't put you to sleep before you can even say krav maga.

except cyanide had this one thing he always did when we played chess. even after i busted him, he still tried to pull it off again and again. he'd take a piece, move it, keep his hand on it (we didn't play touch and move... you had to take your hand off the piece to conclude the move), pretend to decide to change his mind, and move the piece back to a different spot from where it was, hoping i didn't notice. i admit, that is a very clever way to cheat.. i gave him that... but c'mon dude. how many times are you gonna try that shit?

in the end, cyanide's fatal mistake was his search history. forensics found various search criteria such as "how much cyanide does it take to kill a person" and "can cyanide be injected". you big dummy. perhaps a careless fool deserves to get caught after a blunder like that.

article said he went on a strike for fifty some days and refused to eat. he did this shortly after i was released. terrible timing... because i was always hungry as shit. he used to give me his carrots everyday. he'd have given me his whole fuckin tray had he done this strike sooner. wtf cyanide.

https://pilotonline.com/news/local/crime/article_2c81da4c-7986-11e8-a78a-d31c83ad5410.html

oh reeeally? the jail has absolute authority over every other aspect of his life, but is not allowed to prevent him from starving to death. let's see what kenny thought about that.

“He has to live on his own or die on his own,” Virginia Beach Sheriff Ken Stolle said.

c'mon kenny. don't lie... you can tell the truth... you'll be voted for again next year regardless of what you say, don't you worry. what kenny wanted to say was "oh fuck i hope i don't get sued when this guy starves to death."

he'd have rather had the judge give him permission to force feed merlino so he wouldn't risk all the profit he was making from federal and state funding to finance the over crowded jail because of magistrates denying bail to most of the inmates. a law suit over a dead inmate like that would take a chunk out of his pocket.

another thing kenny did was own and run a in-jail resturant that made 'fresh favorites'... hot, quality meals sold to the inmates. his wife ran the place. what he did was very clever. first, he didn't have to worry about the fact that the inmates were NOT getting 2,700 calories a day... since the piece of shit deputies who run the kitchen, and the inmates who cook, that they don't make any effort to supervise, rarely if ever put full portions on the trays. he didn't have to worry because it would be next to impossible to prove this was going on, or get any media attention to the matter. it would simply be overlooked. so in addition to illegally reducing the amount of calories the inmates are supposed to be getting, the food they did get was so bad, inmates would plead to family members to buy them these fresh favorite meals. for lunch, everyday... for over ONE YEAR STRAIGHT... i got a plastic bag with four pieces of bread, two slices of some by-product meat shit, and a packet of fake mayonaise. so anyway, starve the inmates and their families will buy them the fresh favorites. the inmates paid $10 per plate... but the employees that worked in the jail and also ate at the resturant, paid $5 per plate. there were over 3,000 inmates in the jail, so you can imagine the profit kenny was making.

why am i telling you this? i dunno, maybe you'll write one of your little congressman liars, and maybe they'll pass some little law lie that can then be broken by the little law enforcement liars who run the little incarceration facilities. the one's that only take responsibility when they can make some money... but not when they have to make an effort to keep an inmate from starving himself.

oh and did i tell you? when i was wrongfully charged and convicted of failing to register for the crimes i was wrongfully charged and convicted of before i was wrongfully charged and convicted of failing to register, they charged me three dollars a day (rent) for every day i was in that jail. i'm supposed to pay for being wrongfully incarcerated while waiting to be wrongfully charged and convicted of failing to register for crimes i was wrongfully charged and convicted of before i'm finally wrongfully charged and convicted of crimes i didn't commit?

are they kidding? shirley they are.

my tab is almost 2,000 dollars. so what i'm gonna do is subtract the 2,000 from what they owe me. i've itemized everything. every instance of a lose of privilege, luxury, freedom, convenience, choice, generates a portion of their negative debt. and interest began accruing at the beginning of 2017. 2017 is the year i would have petitioned to be removed from the registry for the crimes committed in 2007. but because of the second wrongful conviction, i must remain on the registry for life.

every disadvantage i experience, no matter how minor, which is a direct result of a specific condition or circumstance pertaining to my restrictions and my social status as a sex offender, will be accounted for.

"They must be banned on grounds of disturbing the peace. Like a guy walking around with his cock out. It's just not done in polite society." - pezer

"Good comparison. The problem with it is indeed the obscenity." - fixed cross

those who rock out with their cock out (of which i am one) aren't seeing what you are. there is no 'peaceful' society of 'polite' people, the disruption of such which would be called 'obscene'.

so typically forms of deviant behavior involving sexual perversion and/or a propensity for violence are explained away by the behavioral sciences as the result of physical differences in brain physiology. of course there are also elements of environmental conditioning that are taken into consideration along with these differences... so that you have a two combinations available for explanations:

1. person is genetically predisposed to be this way
2. person is genetically predisposed, and is also conditioned by various environmental catalysts, to be this way

in both explanations there is the hidden premise, or supposition, that the resultant deviant behavior is caused by a deficit in 'ordinary' functioning... which is to say that the serial killer, for instance, has malfunctioning mirror neurons, or a lower frequency of theta waves, or malfunctioning communication between the amygdala and frontal cortex, or lower levels of specific neurotransmitters. the environmental circumstances are also described as being abnormal... came from a violent household, was ridiculed in school, had access to hard drugs, etc.

now all of this is true and there is statistical research to support it, but it cannot account for every and all instances of deviant behavior. in fact, i can explain how some deviant behavior and/or sexual 'perversion' is not the result of a deficit of such terms, but rather as a result of, ironically, a higher level of functioning... the consequence not of 'malfunctioning' physiology, but 'over functioning' physiology... such that the behavior is a result of perfectly 'rational' reasoning, as opposed to the theory that it only follows from irrational reasoning... the result of these malfunctioning regions in the brain.

the parafilia i'll use here will be exhibitionism; deriving sexual gratification from exposing one's genitals and/or performing sexual acts while being watched by others.

the development of this parafilia went hand in hand with the development of what social scientists call the anti social personality disorder, but what they are unable to do is imagine that, perhaps, it is the ordinary and normal patterns of social behavior that are, in fact, the problem. their initial premise proceeds from a consensus fallacy; that what most people do is what is the right thing to do... and from this assumption they distinguish what they consider 'normal' from 'abnormal'.

in my own case, there is a long line of logic and rationale that led me to developing the exhibitionist paraphilia. in the shortest words possible (because i don't want to turn this into an essay which won't be understood and result in a glorious waste of my time), i was basically unable to play the social 'games' that so often define the characteristics of the process of human courtship. bundy was also one such person, admitting that he didn't understand how it was done... meaning (another beautiful irony) that he was too honest to be able to play the necessary 'games' required to finally result in the intended goal; sexual gratification. these games involve a great degree of deception, scheming, ulterior motivation, and the like. an example might be, a guy spends three hours in a bar courting a woman... pretending to be interested in anything more about her than how to get her in bad... and the girl, in turn, suspecting this, willingly plays along.

there are some who could play this game, but it doesn't come naturally to them because they are cognizant of the underlying nature of it, and being a higher, more honest type, have difficulty 'playing' such a game.

here there is a complete reversal of what is presumed by social scientists to be an instance 'healthy' social interaction. the few antisocial 'sociopaths' who develop paraphilias as a way to express a frustrated and repressed libido that results from the disadvantage they experience from being unable to reduce themselves down to the level of playing such games of deception, achieve the same desired sexual gratification, without having to subject themselves to this level of profanity and obscenity inherent in typical human interaction.

lol. i'm reminded of what nietzsche once said... something along the lines of madness is rare in individuals, but in the masses it is the rule, or something like that. a very apropriate point to be used here. are the sexual deviants really the 'unhealthy' ones?

my claim is that people who do not become sexual deviants in a society and age like this one, are the one's with the real problem. a lower type of human being that is either not fully cognizant of the subtle circumstances that define their socio-sexual interaction with others, or, they are aware of them and willingly choose to engage in it, demonstrating the essence of their character.

now there is a next stage in this digression (i'd rather call it an ascension... since that's what it really is). it comes in the form of a conflict between the sexual drive and the object of contempt which the sociopath cannot free himself from wanting. he is torn between his disgust for what he consideres a lower life form (that inconsequential female over at the bar waiting to play the game with some inconsequential male) and his desire to fuck her. he doesn't want to want to fuck her... but he cannot not want to. part of him is still human and he experiences the same drives as anyone else. what then happens, gradually, is the object of desire is replaced by a new object; the desire itself becomes the object, while the original object, the woman, becomes merely a means to acquire that 'desiring'. depending on the type of sociopath/sexual deviant, the woman is used in whatever way is necessary to accomplish the sexual gratification. in my case, as a narcissistic exhibitionist, i experienced sexual arousal by being seen... and i didn't have to play any games or tell any lies to get that... in another supreme ironic sense... i was actually demonstrating more respect for the 'victim' than that inconsequential male who's fixing his hair and gettig ready to slide over to her at the bar and tell her some lame joke to put the game in motion.

now in either case, the woman is being objectified... meaning she is only a means to the end of some kind of gratification. the sexual deviant is simply the person who objectifies in a purer form, and doesn't add to that objectification the layers of deceit, manipulation, scheming, and provocation that 'normal' males incorportate into their 'mating rituals'.

so you see, in my eyes, it is all of you 'normal' ones who are obscene, but again an understanding of this would be beyond most of you. as the saying goes, a sick person cannot know he is sick.

in any event i have spent a great deal of time researching sociopathology and sexual deviance, and i always find the same conclusion; it is the individual who is what he is because of some deficit. in truth, some may be like they are because of a longer line of logic, of rationale, by which, in fact, greater functionality is occuring in the brain rather than less. this rare type of sociopath is by comparison something superhuman... while the 'normal' human being, the 'well adjusted' type, is the lower animal. what is considering normal cognitive functioning and coorelation between the active brain centers involved in their behavior is in fact only a dumb, unevolved, evolutionary mechanism... which because it accounts for the vast majority of 'normal' people, is believed to be ideal, healthy, appropriate.

in the eyes of us sociopaths, however, you look and act more like obscene apes. obscene because unlike the apes in the zoo, you apes aren't aware that you're apes. you fell behind while us others were experiencing a cultural and philosophical revolution. in fact it is even unfair to you (and us) that we continue to share the same planet.

... then i found myself sittin' in this philosophy forum down in houston texas. was drinkin' colorado koolaid and talkin' to some mexicans...

to be fair i shouldn't divide all people into such rigid categories as "lower types that through a complete misunderstanding of what they are, aren't aware of the nefarious sublimity in their interactions with others" and "higher types that possess a more acute awareness of human nature in all its malevolence".

there is indeed a category that is somewhere in the middle, but they constitute a smaller minority than the former, and it's such a pain in the ass to find them, i'd rather deviate my sexual behavior to achieve the same gratification i would acquire if i were willing to put forth the effort required to find them and go through all the motions to get laid, see.

oh and there is another element i failed to mention, one which adds to the overall 'cocktail' of sexual gratification. because exhibitionism is illegal, such activity causes forms of paranoia... and that paranoia is accompanied by certain neurological changes that give rise to mildy intoxicating states; sharpening of the senses while on the 'alert', a rush of adrenaline, the anticipation of the act of exposure and the moments leading up to it (you see her coming out of the store and walk across the parking lot... all systems go... T minus ten seconds and counting, etc.)

the uniqueness of the sociopath is that these states are pleasurable to him, while for ordinary apes, they are alarming and uncomfortable. the 'brakes' are put on in the normal person's brain, while for the sociopath, the gas peddle is floored.

incidentally, these are the personality types that pioneer all the advances for mankind. but that's another matter.

and even more substance is added to this experience of exhilaration if the sociopath takes pleasure in the fact THAT he's breaking the law, a law put in place by a people or society that he holds in contempt. i didn't say 'hate' or 'resent', notice.

and finally... how does the context change during an act of exhibitionism if the 'victim' LIKES it? oh dear, three decades of research thrown out the window. maybe all these shrinks who get together and write the DSM are just jealous because they're incapable of having an erotic encounter with a beautiful female? of course, the women are a little alarmed because of the setting of the incident (dude flashes me while i'm getting in the car, etc.), but there is an undeniable part of them that experiences a brief, albeit socially taboo, experience of erotic desire. i have witnessed this on several occasions. SEVERAL occasions.

did i ever mention that while incarcerated at hyde, i had three female correction officers who routinely watched me a-whackin' off in the bathroom while showering? they EVEN POSED for me while they watched.

they don't call me the king of irony for nothing; here i am in prison for allegedly flashing some kid (when i did not... it was an adult), and the very people who's job it is to punish me are instead ENCOURAGING me to flash them, and love it when i do.

tell that to the prosecutor and judge.

"oh well that's not my department and i don't have anything to do with the prison system and these people should be reprimanded for that and, yada yada yada."

ah but this is the system you are part of, the system you are devoted to, the system you dedicate your time to, the system you preserve and defend, the system you make a willing and conscientious choice to be a part of. guilty. guilty on all counts. get the fuck out of my face.

anyway, ecmandu, for instance. this guy is primed and ready to become a sexual deviant, but he won't take the step... and the reasons for this are quite interesting kinda. what has happened is, his frustrated sexual desire has been sublimated into an innocuous aggressive form, the expression of which gives him a similar degree of catharsis as would the satisfied sex drive, if he should have it. so, rather than developing a sexual paraphilia, he finds gratification for those repressed sexual engeries in waging a pseudo-philosophical war against men who are getting laid.

an orgasm for ecmandu occurs when he makes you think you are evil if you want to have sex a pretty girl. his is an ultra passive-aggressive sociopathology. my recommendation is that he develops a shoe fetish or something harmless like that, so that he can stop wasting his time trying to make successful males feel guilty for getting laid.

... then i found myself sittin' in a philosophy forum down in houston texas. was drinkin' colorado koolaid and talkin' to some mexicans....

there are serial killers who are by comparison to carl panzram, mere trifles. panzram is an example of perfection insofar as the question is asked "what is, and what makes a serial killer?"

the most remarkable thing about panzram is that what would break otherwise ordinary people only served to strengthen him. his willpower was incredible in the sense that when he experienced almost every possible form of abuse and violation in his early life, he became more and more enraged, rather than surrendering to such absurdity and taking a stoic position toward life in general (for example the sickened christian or secular humanist). what i mean is, it takes a very formidable person to do this; the mess that god has created is usually enough to completely break anyone who is subject to it, at its worst. and when i say 'worst', i mean the things that panzram experienced in his early life. his willpower, his refusal to submit and instead defy at any cost, that is the promethean spirit at its greatest.

and when he says he hates the whole damn human race including himself, that second part is a lie, one he is unconscious of. the fact is, one cannot witness oneself surviving such extraordinary suffering in early life, nor the prowess with which they commit their crimes, nor the immense enjoyment they experience while committing such crimes, and not witness one's own constitution and power with the greatest reverence. rather it was some modicum of that moral residue that he had almost completely transcended that was speaking when he said "including myself". that last bit of humanity that existed in him... and turned him into the pale criminal (N), that spoke those words. it was his conscience getting that last bite before his glorious death at the gallows and his transformation into a legend. he was sooooo close to reaching the hannibal lecter level... sooo fuckin' close. with the lecter type, the 'human' is absolutely transcended, leaving only an amoral love and fascination of oneself... and how one uses those lesser humans as material for their 'art' and enjoyment.

the world is only a good as it is at its worst, is it not? panzram represents an instance of almost flawless adaptation to the world at its worst. the purest embodiment of rage, power and intelligence.

the world (or should i say god), gets what it puts in, yes? well, with panzram, the costs and overhead are returned with triple the profit.

despite my insights into the essence of the serial killer, dahmer remains an intrigue and presents a bit of a mystery to me. the acquisition of his sexual deviance is explicable and not difficult to comprehend. simply explained, there was an overlapping and 'parallel' development between his dawning sex drive via puberty and his fascination with dead animals... particularly their anatomical structure. without the usual outlet for the sex drive to be expressed- he was a bit of an obnoxious, hyperactive class clown who didn't have much luck with the girls in school- his surrogate activities... such as collecting dead animals and dissecting them... worked to provide modes of expression for the same sexual anxieties that would otherwise be discharged through interaction with girls. so you have a kind of vicarious medium being used to express the discharge of what should be sexual energies... but instead take the form of the closest ulterior form available; the deviant curiosity and enjoyment experienced during these activities. what happens is, a singular fantasy involving both elements- sex and animal dissection- evolves in which the appetite for one cannot function without the appetite for the other. and this went on for years...through the entire time he was maturing sexually.

ironic that he was an intelligent youngster and quite the extroverted personality, unlike the other dullards in school who behaved themselves got all the girls as a result.

the homosexuality is easy... nothing strange there. what is strange is his specific desire for black males. i've not quite figured this out. he always admitted that it wasn't the killing that consciously excited him... claiming that was the worst and hardest part, in fact. though i'm not inclined to be fully convinced that he was not unconsciously expressing a contempt and disgust for the negro race, the expression of such disgust taking the form of the subordination resulting in the control of the victim. it's hard to say, and such speculation relies on making associations and connections between other proclivities and dispositions... hardly an purely empirical venture.

but dahmer is unique in his own way, exhibiting some pretty novel stuff in his modus operandi. attempting to create zombie sex slaves by pouring acid into drilled holes in the skull is something you don't see everyday. A+ for creativity, jeff.

where jeff went wrong... well he went wrong in many ways... but the big way that really mattered in the end was; his failure to train himself physically to be prepared for violent confrontation in prison. wtf was he thinking? you're going into a prison with a negro population of almost 90%, for raping, killing, and eating countless negros... and you don't do any push-ups or pull-ups?

had jeff had more self respect, he would have devoted his time to perfecting his body... in which case he would have taken away that barbell used by that negro trash to beat him to death, shoved it up his ass, and sent him back to his bunk with the following lesson: never try to be a vigilante negro avenger charged by god with the task of destroying a serial killer phenomena so beyond you and your god, you have no business even trying to figure it out with your tiny little negro mind.

i shot heroin one time in my life, and can say with some certainty that i'll never do it again. i felt sick and was puking all morning the next day, although the buzz was decent, i guess. brandon and kim swore it was cotton fever that got me, although i can't imagine how the presence of a few cotton fibers from a cigarette filter in my bloodstream could make me feel that bad. i say the buzz was decent because it wasn't remarkable. i don't answer well to sedatives and downers. i'm not wired that way. and i don't like to be dulled down... i like to be sharpened, tightened like a bow string or a clenched fist. that's why i can say with some certainty that i will very probably shoot coke again.

the first time i shot coke i was late twenties... couch surfing at beth ann's apartment, a student at appalachian state. perham, a red headed nordic hippie who could flat pick a six string like nobody's business (played washboard and snare in a bluegrass band with him for a while)... he brings back a couple grams and some fresh syringes from the drug store. so beth ann and betsy are like "no way am i shooting it... but i'll do some lines!" fuck it, i said, i'll try it. show me how its done. so perham whipped me up a shot, told me to flex, and with surgical precision slid the needle into my vein. wait... did you get all the air bubbles out dude?! i don't want to die of a stroke! no that's a myth. it would take like a whole syringe full of air to do that. okay cool, i just heard one time th... and then...all of a sudden, a wave of something indescribable washed over me and cut me off in mid sentence. perham looked into my eyes and smiled like some sage who knew ancient secrets or some shit... pulled the needle out, and said "you're on, man." then he drifted out of the bathroom like a phantasm... like seriously, he didn't walk, he drifted... i didn't see any feet. he was hovering.

i can't describe with words the feeling. people have tried, and i've read some illustrations of the experience, but they all fall short somehow. you could say that you reach, i dunno, an omega point... maybe it's like the formation of a crystal at light speed... an instantaneous forming of fractals into a complete whole... or like when those five robot tigers converge to form voltron. something like that. you quite literally leap out beyond space and time, a "quickening" overcomes you. once perham had disappeared, i wandered out of the bathroom and onto the front deck porch. i could taste the coke... it passed over my taste buds while in my bloodstream. metallic. i could smell it... it was like sweet gasoline or something.

so i'm about to pass through the front door and betsy steps in front of me and just looks at me with this sexy grin. she had coke around the rim of her left nostril. "how do you feel" she inquired. i don't remember exactly what i said, but i do remember suggesting that i wanted to have sex, to which she giggled. i remember looking over her shoulder off the second floor front porch... and i could make out the details of the coffee shop wayyyyy the fuck up the street, in absolute detail. i could see for miles, in fact.

it was such a bright, warm, sharpened feeling. i wasn't really thinking anything... just sensing... every sensation was enhanced.

we go out to the parking lot to throw the football. remember that scene when clark kent kicks the football? well that's what happened, instead i threw it... as hard as i could. it disappeared beyond the woodline. never found it. later on i'm lying on the couch with betsy reclined in my lap. here's the thing. we had no place to have sex. beth ann wouldn't let us use her room because she wanted to fuck me and i wouldn't fuck her. i wouldn't fuck her because i knew somehow pete, her boyfriend, would find out. pete's arm was as big as my leg. nuff said. so i settled with jacking off in the shower to images of fucking beth ann.

so anyway, she's being a bitch and won't let me and betsy use her room... now we're lying there watching crocodile dundee and i'm playing with her teats. got em all the way out, her nipples standing like upright citizens. there i am, gazing at crocodile dundee at that bar scene in new york over betsy's bountiful breasts. she's squirming around in my lap... grinding against my wood. it took everything i had not to bust. oh beth ann and them went to the store, btw. if beth ann saw me and betsy like that, she'd make something of it, no doubt.

the come down was gradual and clean. nothing like smoking crack. coming down off crack is so intense you seriously consider bonking the dealer over the head with your pistol and ganking his shit.

all in all i was very impressed. very clean, efficient, cost effective, and a perfect blend of intensity/duration. shooting coke gives it "legs"... in drug lingo that means; it lasts.

in fact, i would like to have a massive shot of coke ready in a syringe in a black velvet syringe holster on my utility belt when i have my final reckoning, take my final stand. shit'll turn me into the fucking bionic man.

haven't shot it in over fifteen years... but i plan on doing it again. you bet your sweet pansy ass i do.

never tried meth... crystal meth, i mean. they tell me once i do it, i'll never go back to coke. i dunno bout that. coke's got history, a monolithic drug with immense hermeneutic, spiritual powers. crystal meth is relatively new... some shit a redneck accidentally made in his bathtub. but i'm open minded. had a friend once who was up at three in the morning rebuilding his transmission because of crystal meth. told me all you want to do is clean the house and shit when you're high on it. sounds productive, so i wanna try it and see what happens.

Light is the darkness being loved.
Appreciated to the point of passionate ignition.
Love burning brightly within cold indifference.

Serial killers can be fully understood through my LOL philosophy.
It's no coincidence that many prefer to rape and murder members of their own gender.  
Self-Loving them to death.  
To love self through other, as other, and then to eliminate the middle-man, leaving only pure self-loving love-selfing.
One consumes the illusion, the unessential mediating illusion of otherness to purify love, as love with no self - selfless love.

https://vocaroo.com/i/s0fQAq7gNmN8

Cam chat app test run

Freud's couch

Fuck yo couch. I'm rick james, bitch.

https://vocaroo.com/i/s1ofUmaIsV2k

I got your back, biggy....

https://vocaroo.com/i/s1fMBO7gbZUO

Note: I kept saying iambiguous when i meant to say ecmandu, and vice versa... but you'll edit those mistakes as you listen.

and those three or four particular females you hear in the recording are all above 18, anyway. strange that one isn't able to deduce the ages of those girls just from what they heard in the recording, and yet you insist they are younger than 18. how do you know that?

or maybe you want to believe they're under 18 because you want to believe that...

... sex offenders have been selected as the new realization of moral panics about sex, stranger danger, and national paranoia, the new folk devils or boogeymen. People convicted of any sex crime are "transformed into a concept of evil, which is then personified as a group of faceless, terrifying, and predatory devils", who are, contrary to scientific evidence, perceived as a constant threat, habitually waiting for an opportunity to attack.

a guest wrote:and those three or four particular females you hear in the recording are all above 18, anyway. strange that one isn't able to deduce the ages of those girls just from what they heard in the recording, and yet you insist they are younger than 18. how do you know that?

or maybe you want to believe they're under 18 because you want to believe that...

... sex offenders have been selected as the new realization of moral panics about sex, stranger danger, and national paranoia, the new folk devils or boogeymen. People convicted of any sex crime are "transformed into a concept of evil, which is then personified as a group of faceless, terrifying, and predatory devils", who are, contrary to scientific evidence, perceived as a constant threat, habitually waiting for an opportunity to attack.

They just very much sound under 18 to me. Perhaps I've grown so old that women under 21 (if not under 25) are really too young for me...

why'd you'd delete the former two posts and leave my reply hanging like that?

for the record: saully questioned my conversations with what he thought were minors on a social networking site.

i responded: https://www.newsobserver.com/news/local/crime/article156928489.html

nah that's probably an american thing. females in this country talk and sound like they're 18 until they reach they're 40s.

something something something, like... giggle giggle.... something something something, like

a guest wrote:nah that's probably an american thing. females in this country talk and sound like they're 18 until they reach they're 40s.

something something something, like... giggle giggle.... something something something, like

Yeah, well, I doubt it in this case. Hanging out with their cousins and all...

a guest wrote:why'd you'd delete the former two posts and leave my reply hanging like that?

for the record: saully questioned my conversations with what he thought were minors on a social networking site.

i responded: https://www.newsobserver.com/news/local/crime/article156928489.html

When a post of mine elicits the suggestion that I may want you to go back to jail, I delete first and think later. After all, the wrong person might see it any second I leave it there. (I could have (temporarily) moved it to an invisible forum, but that takes more time.) Only then did I check out the article, and I suppose it's good news! Also, I was quite sure you weren't so stupid as to not have thought of it yourself before signing up for that chat site, and indeed you immediately confirmed that.

https://vocaroo.com/i/s1iECCX9uI0e

Sex offender rant

"Also, I was quite sure you weren't so stupid as to not have thought of it yourself before signing up for that chat site" - saully

if that's true, you wouldn't have asked me the question you did, because you would have thought in advance that i wouldn't be dumb enough to be at a site i'm restricted from, since you "are quite sure i'm not so stupid."

care to (try) to explain that one?

it duddin't add up. a lot of things aren't adding up these days. i think i got this rat in my crew, saully.

a guest wrote:"Also, I was quite sure you weren't so stupid as to not have thought of it yourself before signing up for that chat site" - saully

if that's true, you wouldn't have asked me the question you did, because you would have thought in advance that i wouldn't be dumb enough to be at a site i'm restricted from, since you "are quite sure i'm not so stupid."

care to (try) to explain that one?

it duddin't add up. a lot of things aren't adding up these days. i think i got this rat in my crew, saully.

I didn't say you weren't dumb enough to be at a site you're restricted from, just that you weren't dumb enough not to realise you're restricted from it before getting on it...

There are many kinds of reasons for asking questions.

@ satyr (responding to recent posts at 'don'tknowthyself')

that you acknowledge the decline of music characterized in the last four decades of modernity doesn't necesarily mean mean you truly recognize it; yours is more of that attitude of resenting anything modern in general, by default. i say you don't truly recognize it because of your mediocre tastes in music... something i have personally observed, and while you are somewhat aware of the 'problem' of modern music, you aren't quite free of it, yourself. or i should say you are still under its yoke. you more or less happen to be right about the decline of music by accident, i mean. recognizing modern hip-hop and pop as garbage is easily done by anyone who has even the slightest intelligence and insight, so one doesn't get much credit for that in the way of critiquing modern music. but when i see you put a john bonham video up to express what you believe is an instance of 'exceptional percussion', or hear you listening to that song "i'm only happy when it rains"... i know you can't know the whole truth about the travesty of modern music. it is the tastes and preferences you demonstrate through these actions that indicates to me that you don't have the credentials to makes such qualifications. i will grant you a level of comprehension of this problem, but only the lowest level. the highest level, to which i belong, is first only possible for those who are musicians... those who experience directly the challenge and difficulty involved in making music, not just listening to it. personal experience with the demands of the art is the only thing that reveals the the full nature of its complexity... how good it can be as well as how bad it can be. in different words, you cannot be offended by mediocre music in the same way a musician is offended... and there are many ways in which you should be offended, but are not, because you lack that intimacy a musician has with his instrument and/or his composition. you approach, accept, and understand music in the way a spectator would, not in the way an architect would.

now all this is not to say that you don't undertand how and why modern music is degenerate- you certainly do. you recognize the most important features involved in this process; social, economic, political, etc. it is the question of what constitutes mediocre music, that you are not fully aware of (for the reasons stated above).

there is so much more to say on this matter, but again i've run out of interest. not because the matter is uninteresting... more so because the audience is uninteresting, you might say.

but as a matter of courtesy i will at least relate to you the legend of cleetus awreetus awrightus and the grand wazoo, so that you might familiarize yourself with the history and development of the 'problem' of modern music. that fateful day on the battlefield.... we played a shuffle but lost the hummock... a decisive event that forced us underground.



http://wiki.killuglyradio.com/wiki/The_Grand_Wazoo_(1972_-_Paramount_Studios)